Bombay Times, page 1, Friday, 22 Jan 10 – ‘Parent trap’

A heartfelt, detailed and candid view on the recent spate of student suicides in the country from one of India’s leading filmmakers, Karan Johar.

A large majority of parents I am sure, loved and applauded the film ‘3 Idiots’ and agreed that the message the film gave is the ‘need of the hour’.
Parenting however is tricky business with ALL parents wanting nothing but the ‘best’ for his child.

The issues with parenting however are deep-rooted; it is embedded deep in the Indian psyche and often as parents we are unaware of the pressure that we put on our children.  How can we aware when we haven’t seen any better?

And what we are unaware of, we can’t change!
Ask most parents whose children come in for counselling and they are bound to say “but we never put pressure on him”.

Here is a brief, ‘must-do’ exercise for all parents of school-going, especially teenaged children:

•    Starting today, become consciously and completely aware of the conversations that you have with your child – ask yourself whether you inadvertently mention another sibling getting better marks or compare your child’s capability and performance with your neighbour or relatives’ child?
Pay special attention to your tone when you discuss contentious issues with your child; ask yourself if you are open to listening to your child’s views (even if they differ completely from yours) or is your parenting style dictatorial?
•    Are you aware of the things that your child does for pure entertainment and I am not talking about the various ‘hobby’ classes that your child is enrolled for.
•    Do you know your child’s key strengths and weaknesses? If your child is creatively inclined, have you taken active interest in exploring this avenue as a future career option with him? Or are your conversations merely academic oriented?

A child’s core foundation is laid at home by his parents and if that foundation is strong it will be able to withstand many pressures; the above exercise is an attempt in that direction.

As parents we have our work cut out and its time that we start introspecting and making some vital changes at our end so that our kids get that strong foundation which will hold them in good stead life-long.

– Priyanka

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  1. Malini Dsouza Said,

    January 26, 2010 @ 10:06 am

    Hi! Priyanka. very good initiative of dedicating a BLOG to managing stress.
    Your comments are commendable.
    I am from Kochin and work in the field of domestic torture. In most cases we find the poor woman gets beaten up for some wrongdoing of the child as husband(s) feel it is ONLY a mother’s duty to inculcate discipline.
    I would like you to pen you views on the Stress parents go through handling today’s brats/ stressed kids; Stress a mother goes through before a child’s admission interview/ exams is common knowledge. How harmful is that??

  2. priyankac Said,

    January 27, 2010 @ 10:31 pm

    thanks Malini; will surely keep what you said in mind!

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