Sadly so, because if there is one truth, it is that people cannot be categorised; agreed that our culture and experiences mould who we are as people but generalisations take away from us a vast, second-to-none chance of discovering people and cultures.The full-page, UTV Bindaas press ad is an important, albeit small step towards an effort to change this perception.

The bold, matter-of-fact way in which the youth challenge our stereotypes is what I’d call a pleasant jumpstart; teenagers wearing their ‘typical’ rebellious attitude glare at us from this full-page ad and tell us that just because they are ‘bindaas’ we dare not slot them as immoral, careless or non-believers.

It’s time we stopped judging a book by its cover; in fact it’s time we stopped judging at all and started challenging our perceptions and generalisations which are often largely based on the external.

Let’s now hope that the channel matches its content to this very refreshing ideology.

Respect your child from the day that he is born so that he not only grows up to be a confident adult but learns the value of respect and applies it to all his relationships.
As adults, we would benefit too if we made ‘respect’ the foundation of all our relationships because from respect follow love and trust; so the next time you find yourself doubting and lecturing a loved one (without real cause for concern), stop yourself and allow the person the freedom to decide and do what’s best for him and be around unconditionally if the decision does not go right.  Make sure however that you don’t say ‘I told you so’

Counselling or psychotherapy is most effective when the mind is calm; in either extreme states of mind (hyper or placid) our capacity to make rational decisions is low, hence the first step in the counselling process is to help the counsellee come out of this extreme emotional state; Yoga certainly is one such means to this end!
Tried and tested, the asanas and pranayam techniques not just help in relaxation but also aid in deep inner reflection. Another interesting facet was the involvement of the participants in the entire process of counselling as against the much practiced approach where the ‘doctor’ speaks and directs and the client listens; counselling is a process where the counsellor helps the counsellee solve his own problems; the key belief here is that each one of us have an innate ability to problem-solve; sometimes due to the environment and our emotional state we are unable to think straight and that’s where the counsellor or psychotherapist comes in.  Modern counselling is a two-way street and a collaborative process.

The clincher in this piece however was the reiteration that “the lessons that you learn are for yourself and not your spouse, so change yourself first!”
The crucial step to change, growth and a better life is acknowledging our flaws and shortcomings and first making some deep changes in ourselves.

What then makes celebrity marriages different from ‘regular’ ones?   

It would be fair to say that celebrities (especially actors and sportspeople) by virtue of their profession not only live under close public scrutiny but also have (as compared to the rest of us) many more instances and possibilities where temptation to cheat on a spouse is high.
Yet, it is ironic that in a society where infidelity runs high, one of the top reasons for divorce is FIDELITY!!

Fidelity therefore is a thread that is common across most marriages; having said that, celebrity marriages do require more work and effort as would marriages between individuals who have high pressure or and jobs that require long hours of work or extensive travel; these come with their own set of challenges.

Marriage per se requires work and life-long effort; this effort becomes a joy when both partners respect and love each other and share common values and goals in life.  Taking the time to understand and appreciate your partner’s profession, background and culture too goes a long way in cementing this bond.

‘Sorry’ – a much used and abused word. Does accepting an apology mean forgiving the person who caused us hurt or harm?
That’s the popular myth; when someone says sorry to us and we genuinely accept it, we forgive ourselves and that is the greatest gift.

When you genuinely forgive someone you let go of all the negative feelings towards that person and make room in your heart for new feelings; feelings that will hopefully be positive and filled with love and goodness.
Forgiveness thus frees and helps the forgiver.

Do not confuse forgiveness with reconciliation; a person who repeatedly causes you hurt needs to be kept at arm’s length; such people are toxic and need help to forgive themselves first.
Not carrying anger or hatred towards such people is perhaps the best way that you can help them start this process of healing and recovery.

Think about it; the next time you say sorry or accept an apology, do so with utmost sincerity.
When we get it right, ‘sorry’ can indeed be the greatest redemption.

Is reality TV taking things too far? 
Human relationships are fragile and require constant work; something as serious as fidelity requires sensitive handling; a fiasco on national TV is certainly no way to handle private, intimate couple issues (or any other psychological issues for that matter).

Whatever happened to one-on-one communication between two people in the relationship? Isn’t communication the key to any relationship?
If one suspects the other of cheating, talking it out would seem to be a more logical solution than subjecting the other to some absurd ‘loyalty’ test.
One wonders what relationships today are based on. Certainly not trust and respect!!

Assuming that the show I’m talking about is real and not a well-orchestrated act by professionals, what would be the state of mind of the affected parties once their relationship fails these ‘tests’?  Is the emotional repercussion of all the ‘tamasha’ that unfolds on national television factored in before TRP-hungry channels and producers dole out such content?

What about the message that the viewers receive?  That is okay to lose control and abuse and get violent in case relationships go sour?  Even TV adverts that have dangerous stunts come with a warning; these shows are far more damaging especially for young, impressionable minds who get all the wrong ideas about adult relationships.
Fed on such content the seeds of relationship issues, marital discord, aggression and low tolerance are sown.

Are TV channels, producers, viewers and the censor board listening?