Sadly so, because if there is one truth, it is that people cannot be categorised; agreed that our culture and experiences mould who we are as people but generalisations take away from us a vast, second-to-none chance of discovering people and cultures.The full-page, UTV Bindaas press ad is an important, albeit small step towards an effort to change this perception.

The bold, matter-of-fact way in which the youth challenge our stereotypes is what I’d call a pleasant jumpstart; teenagers wearing their ‘typical’ rebellious attitude glare at us from this full-page ad and tell us that just because they are ‘bindaas’ we dare not slot them as immoral, careless or non-believers.

It’s time we stopped judging a book by its cover; in fact it’s time we stopped judging at all and started challenging our perceptions and generalisations which are often largely based on the external.

Let’s now hope that the channel matches its content to this very refreshing ideology.

While exams are a necessary evil of our education system, there is no reason why lives are lost in the process; the first combative measure starts at home.

Is this an aberration or a pre-cursor to a trend where dangerous and reckless lifestyles and complete lack of regard for law and order will be the gen-next trend?How do parents and family members not see a loved one living on the edge of a self-destructive lifestyle or is it now an acceptable practice that so long as you make your own money how you live doesn’t matter? What is appalling is that in most cases the drinking and crazy lifestyle is financially supported by the parents themselves?

Does good upbringing and education solely mean that the children have a career or make money or do are we doing all that it takes to ensure that we raise respectable and responsible citizens as well?  As parents it is time to introspect!  Have we fulfilled our responsibility as parents? Or have we merely been ‘providers’?
There is a strong need today that children and youngsters be taught the value of discipline and accountability; we have perhaps taken the freedom that we enjoy in a country like ours for granted; if not checked in time, law may perhaps be the only way to correct this blatant and callous attitude.

It is time we understand that with freedom comes a great responsibility; a good start would be to become accountable for our actions.

We have to stop seeing children as our possessions and give them the freedom to choose their path; kids are from us and not for us and as parents it is our duty to give them unconditional love and support so that each one of these buds have a fair chance at becoming the flower that they are destined to be.

The blame however, is not his alone; if law takes its course, Nooria will spend a considerable time in jail which alone won’t help in this rehabilitation process.  The reason we punish is to allow reflection and give the culprit a fair chance at reform.  Detention alone will not help achieve this goal. The law needs to change here; offenders such as Nooria need to be made accountable for their actions.
After a detailed psychiatric evaluation to assess whether the alcohol was an indulgence or an addiction needing treatment, the following course of action could be considered:
•    The culprit should take financial responsibility for the family of the victims/deceased.
•    Community service where one is made to work with people who have lost loved ones to careless accidents like these is key.
•    Working in a de-addiction set-up where the culprit is made to face the harsh consequence of over-indulgence could also act as a strong deterrent for the future.

Nothing can help bring the deceased back to life; the need of the hour is to help and stabilise the victim’s families (both at an emotional and financial level) and ensure that the culprit takes accountability for his actions and work towards becoming a responsible and mature individual.
Detention alone cannot be the answer!!

As regards ‘copying’ the IB model, I just hope that the Board has factored in some crucial factors such as:
•    IB requiring smaller class sizes as compared with our current large numbers per class and
•    Teachers training and remuneration which could be a serious ‘road block’

While I wish the Board all the luck in the world, I have very little hope that they will be able to pull this off.

Just yesterday, I was at a lunch with a close friend who has a darling, 16-month old boy; she mentioned that she was looking at applying for ‘permanent residency’ to a country (she mentioned several viable options) where education came cheaper if one was a ‘permanent resident’.
Having lost faith in our education system, this may perhaps seem as a kneejerk and emotional reaction BUT who knows; I see it as a ‘business opportunity’ for banks and insurance companies.
Given the apathy of the education boards and policy makers, perhaps, in the near future financial products which help parents plan and save for an elementary foreign education for their children will become as popular as buying medical insurance.

Just when the state boards of education seemed like they were waking up from their deep deep slumber, came this news that puts them back a few hundred steps.

In life there are two types of problems; ones which are uncontrollable and others which are controllable !!  The earthquake in Haiti was uncontrollable; the rehabilitation efforts are controllable.

Having exams without breaks is CONTROLLABLE !!
How can the Board say that there is nothing they can do; I am sure they are intelligent enough to realise that physical stress is also a factor that leads to poor emotional functioning.
Haven’t they learnt anything from the many futile suicides over the past few months?  And is this how they respond?
We have seen that one of the main reasons for this extreme measure (suicide) has been academic pressure and fear of or poor academic performance and yet the Board pleads helplessness!

The Education Secy says that it is ‘too late’ to change the timetable; I would agree! It is indeed too late….. for the Education Board; we anyway had little faith in you and the steps that you take are in no way helping you change that view.

What made the reading more sensitive was the fact that a ‘suicide-survivor-now-volunteer’ talks about the emotional impact that an attempted suicide leaves on the concerned person’s family whom she correctly labels as the ‘biggest victims’.
This is just so true because it is this group that is often neglected; a lot of time and attention needs to be given to the family and close friends of a suicide victim or survivor, to help them understand and deal with the emotions that they go through.
In the absence of timely counselling a lot of permanent psychological damage is done leading to lifelong feelings of guilt, anger and despair. 

There is one-thing however that continues to haunt me and that is the stage at which people are brought in for psychiatric help.
In this case, it took several failed suicide attempts for the parents to finally bring their child in for help; why such a delay?

Which come to my next question – why is there such a taboo towards seeking psychiatric help?

It is our wondrous and magical brain that separates us from the rest of the living world, giving us that unique edge over all other mortal beings; yet, we are most reluctant to seek help when something goes wrong ‘in’ it.

Don’t you go to your family doctor when you are physically unwell? Undergo tests and procedures and visit specialists when the problem is undetected or severe?
Then, why the reluctance to go see a counsellor or psychiatrist when you are overwhelmed by your feelings and emotions?
Like the rest of your body, isn’t it possible that your brain too can sometimes go through temporary blips and at times through severe illness?  Then why this step-treatment with the brain?

Food for thought?

Thumbs down however for some of the content on UTV’s youth channel Bindass.  The show Emotional Atyachaar does not promote transparency of morals in the youth; in fact, it presents an incorrect and convoluted method of dealing with issues in human relationships (refer blog dated 18 Jan 10).
TV channels need to focus deeply on their social and moral responsibility and factor in the emotional impact of the content that they air.

What parents and caregivers need to note is that there are almost always ‘signs’ that a child is depressed and not his ‘usual’ self.
Sometimes (as in the case of Ummehaani) the signs are explicit; however, in most cases, these may be more subtle, such as, a child becoming unusually quiet or losing interest in things around him.
The key is to watch out for signs that say ‘I am not my usual self’!  These signs are a silent cry for help.

The sad reality today is that parents have no time; between work pressures, home and the perils of modern living, what suffers are the children who can often do without the material comforts but will surely crack at some stage due to lack of their parent’s quality time and understanding.
Add to that the absurd burdens of modern schooling and extra-curricular activities (which are supposed to act as de-stressors but are playing quite the contrary role).

As a parent, you have to assess whether your child is living a ‘normal’ life or burning out running between tuitions and hobby classes?  You need to ask yourself whether you are raising a happy, healthy child or a robot?

Nothing can replace unconditional love and quality time which is the very basic that a child deserves.
Timely support from family and friends makes that world of difference in children who go through anxiety or depression; often, all it takes is this invaluable and unconditional support to help troubled minds come out of a trying phase.

The good news is that it’s never too late to start giving your child all of the above; the bad news is that this realisation often comes when it’s much too late.